A Simple Prayer

I must confess, I partially write blogs for purely selfish reasons. Blogs are stories I want to remember. Blogs are lessons I never want to forget. Blogs are me processing what is going on in my life or in my head. I have an amazing wife who expresses amazing love to me with her listening ears, which is very important for someone like me who processes life best out loud. Blog writing is another form of verbal processing, and I am appreciative of those of you who lend your ears (or in this case eyes).

Last week’s blog about feeling “empty” was a long time coming and I appreciate those of you who have prayed for us in that. Even before writing the blog, I had the thought, “Maybe my carving this story and its application into the stone of internet permanence will be just the trigger I need to break out of this emptiness rut.” And so I started. The words came quickly and I revisited some thoughts and feelings that that never managed to reach expression on my lips. When I wrote the concluding line, “Running on empty is ok, but only as long as a filling station is in sight! Which in my case it is…that is, if I have the eyes to see it!” I took my hands off the keyboard and said “Alasaja” which in Gmz means “That’s it!” As long as I focused on my exhaustion in relation to never-ending road of work that lies ahead of me, I saw no hope of refreshment. But as soon as I changed my focus to that of serving God to travel only as far as the strength he gives me allows, my joy in the work and my hope for successfully navigating the road ahead returned almost immediately. I closed the blog with my honest prayer, and soon after went to bed. The next morning, while walking to the office along the dirt road outside my house, I prayed a very simple, one-sentence prayer, “Lord, fill me up that I might be emptied again.” And as I turned the corner toward the big Orthodox Church in our neighborhood, there was a noticeable bounce in my step. And you know what? Praying that simple prayer each morning has kept that bounce fresh there despite navigating through an unusually complicated week. 

I attribute the extra energy to God’s daily refilling, although I must admit, the homemade strawberry-banana ice cream we made Tuesday night certainly helps in some way! J