Surprise!

Travis has notoriously been a difficult person to surprise. I still celebrate when, during our engagement period, a member of his youth group and I managed to pull off a big surprise 25^th birthday party for him, including my travelling to Wisconsin without him knowing. That was a rare, but special occasion. I, on the other hand, am rarely suspicious of what people tell me or secret plans being made right under my nose. For example, our sister-in-law decided to plan a surprise baby shower for…well, for me (Travis had to be in on the details). Even after I knew that she wanted to communicate with Travis without my knowledge, I quickly forgot and soon became oblivious to any plans or information being concealed from me. Together, they pulled off an incredible surprise baby shower with 22 family members, which we attended with live video feed on Skype!

 

Now, here in Ethiopia, surprise parties are practically unheard of. Not only do Ethiopians not celebrate their birthday, many don’t even know the actual date of their birth. This is changing with the influence of other cultures on the upcoming generation, but still most celebrations here are much smaller scale than ours, which definitely limits the practice of elaborate surprise parties.

 

Well, I am proud to announce that after nearly 5 years of marriage, it seems that my husband’s suspicious and analytical mind may be rubbing off on me. Let me give you a little background. We’ve been faithfully attending a particular Amharic-speaking church for nearly 6 months now. We enjoy the service and fellowship even though we are the only regular attending foreigners. Now, these past few weeks, there has been a short-term visitor from the UK and each week after the service she promises to call us so that we can get together. So, I was not really surprised when, on Wednesday, after emerging from a morning shower, Travis told me that she had called about getting together that afternoon. For some reason, though, I was suspicious…the details Travis gave me seemed vague as if he was withholding something from me.

 

So the rest of the morning, I found myself suspecting something - could there possibly be a surprise of some sort in the works? The information I had: we were getting picked up at 1pm, we were going to the church compound and we might be eating together (but Travis didn’t think we were actually eating lunch together…hmm…my husband is not one to let details like lunch be overlooked). No it couldn’t be, I told myself. First, we hardly know this lady, why would she plan a surprise baby shower for us? Second, she didn’t seem to have enough influence in the church to convince a bunch of Ethiopians who don’t have baby showers or surprise parties that they should do both. And third, although the church folks know us a little, we don’t have any deep friendships there and amidst the other pregnant ladies, why would they throw a party for us?

 

So, I asked Travis, point-blank, “Is there anything you know that you’re not telling me?” I later learned that such a question blatantly breaks the “I suspect a pending surprise” rules. In order to be fair to the weasel who has inside information, I am told, I need to raise my suspicions more as observations or statements of doubt rather than putting others in the awkward position of having to either reveal all or flat-out lie. In answer to my breach-of-etiquette question, Travis chose an indirect lie by basically repeating the conversation he had on the phone as if it was exhaustive, but, of course, leaving out anything about a surprise. He then took the side of ignorance and started being suspicious with me. Clever. He even offered more suspicious evidence to play along, “You know, some of the church leaders have spent significant time in the US and so they probably know our custom.”

 

So, shortly after 1pm we arrived at the church compound and were awkwardly led to a closed door. Upon opening it, the room inside burst into noise “Surprise!” and peering in we saw all of our Ethiopian church friends gathered to share in our excitement. Much to my surprise, the UK lady was not even there! I was quickly directed to the seat of honor at the end of the room behind which streamers and balloons had been set up.

All-in-all, it was a great afternoon, although what transpired was not like your typical baby shower in the US. There were more men than women present. We were served stir-fried meat with bread followed by cake and cookies. We weren’t showered with hundreds of gifts, just three very thoughtful ones: a traditional Ethiopian child’s outfit and a framed piece of art with a silver Orthodox cross surrounded by angels painted on the matting, and their greatest gift was their prayer as we held hands around the room.

It was more than a valiant Ethiopian attempt at replicating an American tradition for those who were far from home, I can honestly say, its uniqueness made it one of the nicest baby showers I’ve been a part of.