Pregnant with Respect

Since we’ve been out of Amharic language school for a little while, our blogs haven’t mentioned any interesting aspects or nuances of the language much. However, to understand a culture you have to understand the language, likewise to truly understand a language you need to understand the culture. So, here’s a little insight on the Amharic language in contrast with English. In English we can be polite by inserting special words and by saying things in an indirect way, for example, “Sir, could you please help me?”or “Is it possible for you to help me?”  In Amharic, when you want to communicate with or about someone worthy of respect, then you must use a particular form of verb conjugations or noun endings, etc. These forms are typically used when speaking to or about someone elderly, because the older generations are most worthy of respect.

 

Unfortunately, in our language learning days we didn’t spend much time practicing these forms and so we continue to remain somewhat impolite when we talk to someone elderly. For the most part, such cultural faux pas are excused or silently overlooked given our status as foreigners and obvious limitations in Amharic.

 

Outside of the classroom these last few months, I have experienced first-hand that respect is not just something represented in spoken Amharic. You see, although the older generation deserves a lot of respect, they are rivaled by the obvious respect given to pregnant women. As soon as people began to learn or observe that I am pregnant I began to receive priority treatment and never-ending advice about what I shouldn’t be doing. For example, when someone comes into a room or the area where I am seated I am not supposed to stand up to greet them but they should come to me to greet me. I shouldn’t carry heavy things or maybe even anything at all. Travis has quickly learned that in order to avoid a reprimand, he must not let me carry anything until he is packed like a mule.  One time, I was in a supermarket with one of those metal shopping baskets and an employee told me to set it down while I looked around and then, being on the second floor, she offered to carry it downstairs for me.

 

Back to language briefly, there are two words for pregnancy in Amharic. The generic word can be used of people or animals but the other one, which is specific to people, is the combination of the words ‘soul’ and ‘carrier.’ Along with this concept of being a ‘soul carrier’ comes a strong belief that the soul being carried could be a king, therefore the respect due a king should be given to the pregnant mother as well.

 

One final example of the respect I’ve been given over these past few months is the one that has stood out to us the most. Since we don’t have our own vehicle to drive yet, we frequently rely on public transportation - which in most cases, is the mini-bus taxi. Pre-pregnancy, we experienced the taxi culture and observed what seemed rude at first. People take the seats closest to the door and expect you to crawl over them to get to a vacant seat. Well, not anymore. As soon as those who have snatched the most coveted seats see me and my belly coming, they scramble to vacate like cockroaches under the beam of a floodlight. Meanwhile, Travis continues to crawl over 3 people in order to squeeze into the back corner, where there is seriously half the necessary leg room for his tall frame. It is clear that if some young punk doesn’t offer his seat to me, he will be harshly scolded by the other riders.

 

My favorite taxi experience was one Sunday morning when our friend, Travis and I were waiting for a taxi to go to church. The sidewalk was full of people waiting and not many mini-buses were stopping. The combination of many people and few taxis always leads to people running next to the taxi until it stops, and then smashing themselves against the sliding side door until it opens.  It requires experience, discomfort, proper positioning, a whole lot of shoving, and a bit of luck to get on in these circumstances. Anyway, by this particular Sunday morning, I wasn’t feeling notably up to pushing my belly into a scuffle, so I wasn’t being very aggressive. And without at least attempting to be in a good position, the pregnancy card wasn’t helping. After missing one or two opportunities, a shoe shiner who was getting a little business from the many people waiting for taxis, silently nodded at Travis and got up from his low stool. We watched with amazement as the next empty taxi pulled up. He timed it perfectly, ran alongside it, and was the first one pressed up against the door as it opened. The next thing I saw was a mob of people pushing into the taxi and our friend disappeared behind them. A few second later, as the taxi people backed away from the full taxi, there was that shoe-shining boy, having reserved a whole bench for us. He exited as we entered and didn’t even turn around for us to thank him or give him a tip! Then again, in a culture that is pregnant with respect, he knew that he may have just served a king!