Micah is by far the most
emotional member of our family, or rather, the most expressive of the emotions
he is feeling. His joys are contagious and his sorrows are heart-wrenching. We
got to see both a number of times during our time in the States. Flying with
poppa, playing with Sadie at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and tearing into
mountains of Christmas presents, we all enjoyed his enjoyment.
But his sorrows, they
came out with equal intensity, especially when it came to saying goodbyes. It
seemed like wherever we were, the final loading of the van, or at least somewhere
in the hours leading up to it, was always accompanied by tears of separation,
"I just wanna stay at _______'s house forever." You fill in the
blank, Peyton, Ellie, Tessa, Calvin, Ray, Audrey, Rachel, Grandma, Grandpa,
Poppa, Sadie, even new friends like Justin, Paul, Nathan and Linsey…
I remember one incident
during the last week of our time of in the States, I had the opportunity to
hang out with my roommate and life-long friend from college. We shot pool
together, we drank coffee, we talked about life until he finally delivered me
home just as Micah was headed to bed. "Where were you?" Micah asked me
in his footed PJs. "I was spending time with my friend Kenny." I
responded, only to receive the question that follows most any statement these days,
"Why?" To which I responded, "Because I have to say goodbye to my
friend, Kenny, before we go to Ethiopia." His eyes locked with mine and I could see them filling up with
tears as he felt full force that which I had, for some reason, learned to hold back.
Two weeks earlier, we had
had a conversation about this sadness of saying goodbye. It came on the final
day that we would be at my parents' house in Wisconsin. He had a lot to say
that night, "I don't want to go to Michigan, I don't want to go to
Ethiopia, I don't like leaving, why do we have to leave all the time? why can't
we just stay here?" Bypassing the usual diversion tactics of pointing out
the fun things that await us in our next location, I shot straight with him.
"Micah, I really don't like leaving either. I don't like saying goodbye to
people I love either. Frankly, I'm really tired of it. But do you know why we put ourselves through this? Because
we love God and we love to Gmz people so much that we want the Gmz people,
people like Thomas, Janey and Worku, to have access to God's Word in their own
language. That is the ONLY reason that we are forcing ourselves to do this hard
thing of leaving all the time." I was talking to myself as much as I was
talking to my son.
More and more, the life
we live seems a bit crazy. More and more, I find myself reaching out for
stability and consistency. But it's not there, not yet. Maybe someday we can
settle into living in just one house, being involved with just one church and
one community. Maybe someday we will put down roots and stop the constant
stream of goodbyes...but until then, his grace is sufficient.
On a number of occasions in
the last month, Micah has made the comment, "I just wish that I could have all
of my grandparents, all of my cousins and all of my friends in one place and
then stay there forever." Oh Micah, that is not just wishful thinking, but
rather the hope we have in Jesus. When the marriage supper of the Lamb brings our
Gmz friends together with our friends and family back in the States in one
eternal dwelling! No more tears, no more sorrow, no more goodbyes!
"For our light and
momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs
them all." – 2 Cor 4:17.
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