Down To The Last Dum Dum

One of the Top 100 things that we looked forward to doing during our time in the States was to “inspect” Micah’s Halloween Candy.  Of course, when writing that list, I was thinking of our little rodeo clown collecting a mountain of candy on behalf of our whole family’s taste buds. Well Micah did very well, knocking on doors and earning cute-points with all who opened them, but upon inspection of his loot, I felt something unexpected: my heart was overriding my taste buds’ plea!

Even now, one month later, I have a hard time raiding Micah stash after bedtime. Why? Certainly not because I don’t want to. After all, I am a pretty big sucker for sweets. No, instead, I find it difficult because I don’t want to rob him of the enjoyment of trying, say...for example, a Snickers. I love Snickers, but I know that Micah would love that Fun Size Snickers just as much, if not more than I would. And the dad in me wants to experience his enjoyment of it more than my own. It’s the same with ice cream. When we go to a DQ (which is more often than we ought to admit), we order a large size Mint Oreo Blizzard and share it between Andrea, Micah and me. All three of us love ice cream, but you won’t find me fighting for the lion’s share of the Blizzard. Why not? Because I love seeing both my wife and my son enjoy my ice cream with me. It goes for other things as well. When we went to a waterpark, I wanted so badly for Micah to enjoy the slides with me, which he did at first. But when one trip down bumped his noggin, his fun was over, and so was a part of mine. Sure I went down many more slides, but I would have gladly waited in a long line to go once with him down the “family slide”, than to zoom down a half a dozen Monster slides by myself.  Why? Seeing him enjoy something brings a far deeper joy than my own enjoyment alone. Another example, in October, I came down to Dallas a week earlier than the rest of the family. And for that week, I slept in a very nice trailer parked in a friend’s driveway. I loved having my own space, but I couldn’t stop thinking “Man, I wish Micah were here, he would love sleeping in this trailer!” I knew I would enjoy it more if I could enjoy it through the excitement of my two-year-old. Am I alone in this? I can’t believe that I am. I think it’s just that our abnormal lives magnify this feeling because there is only a 6-month window in which we have the joy of introducing Micah to our homeland/passport country. Cramming all the goodies of America into 6-months isn’t as easy as you might think.

Now if I, as a father, can experience a deeper level of joy in seeing my son enjoy something special, I ask myself, does my heavenly father delight in my enjoyment of Micah, his creation, and the life he gives? I have always respected Dr. John Piper and his emphasis on the sovereignty of God, but I never really got into his writings about Christian hedonism (ie. Desiring God). But, this idea of me enjoying life deeper through Micah’s pleasure is basically the same as the Christian hedonist who says God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

Imagine with me, God Almighty scoots to the edge of his throne in anticipation as I pour the mountain of Halloween candy onto the coffee table in front of my now wide-eyed two-year-old. The divine heartbeat quickens and an immeasurable smile spreads across his face as I play mountain guide in leading Micah through the different options – candy bars, chocolates, taffys, suckers, licorice, fruit snacks, etc. Finally after several minutes of careful scrutiny, Micah lands on what I was predicting all along – a lousy Dum Dum sucker. “I want this one,” he says with a full-face smile and excited eyebrows that race toward his hairline in anticipation.  My own taste buds pout in the corner of my mouth as yet another candy finds a different home, yet my heart rejoices in my son’s happy little dance around the room (“no running with a sucker!”). And to think, how awesome the possibility that God Almighty, sovereign over all, and our Great Father is taking a moment to enjoy my enjoyment of Micah enjoying his silly little Dum Dum. It’s hard to believe, but it may not be far from the truth.