Meating Their Fates

Many people warned us not to name our chickens as such a practice makes them become more like pets and less like protein-packed dinners. Despite seeing the truth in this advice, we named our hens anyway. Those names, however, were carefully chosen so as to ease their transition from the coup to the dinner plate. If you haven’t read our chicken naming blog (Jan 2011 blog entitled “McMuffin or McNugget?”), do that now as this is kinda a conclusion to that chapter.

In that Jan 2011 blog, you will remember that each chicken was given two names. The first reflected the egg dish that we wanted to make (Omelet, Overeasy, Deviled, Sunny (side-up), etc), provided that they held up their end of the egg-laying bargain. Their second name (McNugget, Cordon Bleu, Hot Wings, etc.) was nothing short of a death threat. And, believe me, we assure you that we don’t make empty threats. Yes, the latest news from the Gesas chicken coup is that the old hens of Christmas 2010 are finally “meating” their fates.

Overeasy Barbeque (aka. Barbie) was the biggest disappointment and also the first to die. She never was a good egg layer and died of probable typhoid in June 2011. Unfortunately for us, she never met the barbeque rack as her typhoid illness is the cause of salmonella and the medicine we gave her before she died is sulfa-based, which I (Travis) am allergic to. So moments after her departure, she made her final flight straight down, coming to land on a warm, soft bed of…well let’s just say we dumped her in the outhouse.

Quiche Teriyaki (aka. Terry) – Another lousy bird. Her eggs were small, infrequent and sometimes malformed with soft, transparent shells. Then in July 2011 she took a leave of absence from work (ie. she stopped laying eggs for us). So when my parents were here visiting in August, we invited Terry for dinner to help celebrate their anniversary. She was delighted, I mean delightful. Kyle you were right in your comment that Terry would be the first to meet the end of my knife.

Omelet Cordon Bleu (aka. Cory) – The best egg layer, in the 10-week stretch that I was keeping close track of eggs, she missed only 3 days. In addition she always had the biggest body size and so was an obvious choice for breeding. However, come January and February 2012, Cory began showing her age. As all the hens began getting older, Cory seemed to the grandmother among them. Right at about the time the older hens’ egg count dropped off, the second generation of chicks began laying their own eggs. Survival of the fittest meant I had to keep my knife sharp and Cory was the first to try it out. She was a tough bird, both in life and at the dinner table, but with the big slab of cheese and smoked pork, she made an excellent Cordon Bleu.

Sunny McNugget – Not long after Cory, Sunny’s rent was due. For several weeks in late March and April, we were averaging only about one egg a day, five of which came from Hot Wings and the others I guessed were coming from Eggnog. Not unlike a “Survivor” challenge, I separated Sunny and Eggnog in two separate pens. When Sunny’s pen went eggless for a whole week, Micah got his first tastes of homemade chicken nuggets.

Eggnog Kabob – Eggnog may have laid one or two more of her mammoth eggs after Sunny’s disappearance, but if you saw how much she ate each day, you would agree that her tab was well into the red. That was why the day before we left for Addis Ababa for a five-week training, I invited her along. The only catch was, she had to ride in the cooler, frozen solid. Eggnog made her final appearance as her second name suggested, skewered along with some nice veggies.

Deviled Hot Wings – The lone survivor…for now. She never had very large eggs, but she was a very consistent layer, and more importantly for her, she was the winner of the “last hen laying” award. What did she win? Life. But, as with any prize this world offers, it comes to an end and hers is very soon.  With her passing, this chicken chapter of our lives with close. In preparation for our extended time in the States, we are planning to give away all of our chickens to fill the bellies of many of our Gmz friends. Lord willing, we can begin anew upon our return in 2013.