Grieving Together

Today's cultural experience was more on the somber note. When we arrived atthe office this morning we were told about a funeral/visitation that we wereinvited to attend. You see, last weekend we had received the sad news thatone of the Ethiopian Bible translators had lost an infant child. The babyhad been born but survived only a short time. To make this news even sadder,we were told that this was the third child they had lost in this way. Manyof our co-workers felt the pain of this couple as once again they weremourning. Now today, it was time for the "funeral." As we walked to thecenter later that afternoon to catch the carpool, our friends told us alittle of what to expect. "There will not be a body as in an Americanfuneral or visitation. The burial has already occurred. In fact, it is notuncommon in Ethiopia for the burial to happen on the day of death. It isvery quick." Nate continued to tell us more about the funeral he hadattended once before and his words were good preparation for what weexperienced.

When the carpool of land cruisers arrived at Hussein's (the Ethiopian Bibletranslator's) house, we slowly and quietly walked into the home andimmediately greeted him. The common greeting is to shake right hands with afirm grip and then bump your right shoulders together. Although I had notmet Hussein ever before, it was entirely appropriate for Andrea and I to bepresent at this event because of our association with him through ourorganization. As my eyes adjusted to the room, I could see that it wasmaybe about 6 feet wide by 14 feet long and chairs lined the walls foreverybody to sit facing the table in the middle. There was nothing on thetable, nothing on the white plaster walls and a few pieces of furniture thatseemed to have been moved to the corner to open up the space. When this roomfilled to capacity, a few people overflowed into the second room in thehouse, where Hussein's wife stayed the whole time. For the first severalminutes, everybody was silent. Then kolo (roasted barley) was brought in, aswell as bottles of Coke, Pepsi, Orange Marinda, and Ambo (soda water). We(collectively, not personally) had brought a cake with us to share. Soonafter the cake, kolo and drinks were distributed, coffee was brought in aswell. Coffee is a big deal in Ethiopia, a very necessarily part ofhospitality. As we munched our snacks and sipped our very contrastingdrinks, we were encouraged to talk amongst ourselves. This went on for aboutan hour until Haimi (a young Ethiopian lady working in the personneldepartment) stood up and offered a prayer for Hussein and his wife. Husseinthen, in very few words, thanked us (first in Amharic and then in English)for coming to be with them during this time of grieving. Then we all stoodup, and filed out the door, once again expressing our sympathy throughhandshakes.

There were no tears, no talk of remembrance, no questions asked specificallyabout the child, it was just being together in support of the family.Apparently in non-Christian funerals, there can be loud wailing, but this isnot seen as appropriate in Christian ones. Why? because of the hope we havein Christ. So what was the purpose of the gathering some days after theactual death and burial? It was to show our love and support through ourphysical presence in the home. As members of the society together, membersof our organization together, and members of the body of Christ together,their loss was our loss, and therefore, we come together on this occasionthat we might grieve together.